S2E4. Becca Love & Sensual Beast | Trauma-Informed Empowered Movement
In this episode of Pleasure Morsels, Susie Showers interviews Becca Love, a sensual dance teacher, about the difference between performance and expression as self-care. Becca emphasizes the importance of setting intentions and staying aligned with our integrity of expression to create a transformative experience through movement. They discuss the personal and community experience of Sensual Beast dance classes, which create a safe space for self-expression and self-acceptance. Becca also shares how their neurodivergent identity influences their erotic dynamics and the considerations they make to create a sensory-friendly environment in the teaching environemnt. They talk about the role of humour in their trauma-informed practice and the importance of creating erotic discovery spaces outside of traditional play parties.
"We want to feel really good and hot and be able to take up space and feel comfortable enough to move, period, let alone move in a really sexy way, where nobody's going to judge us."
Keep up with Becca Love and the antics of Sensual Beast
https://www.instagram.com/sensualbeast.mtl/
Susie Showers (00:00)
Hello and welcome to Pleasure Morsels. This is a podcast about building maps to mark the less traveled routes to experience pleasure beyond the mainstream. I am Susie Showers and I'm really excited to have my teacher and pal, Becca Love here. I will introduce them.
They are the sensual beast. A they them super femme, a professional slut whisperer, often hailed as the non -binary Fran Drescher with more dildos. Between seducing audiences, they're spreading the joy of movement, teaching sensual dance classes with empowering rituals. What an intro. Thank you so much for being here, Becca. How are you?
Becca (00:50)
I'm good. How are you?
Susie Showers (00:55)
I'm feeling excited, being a little sweaty. It might be the rain, I may just be pumped up for chatting with you.
Becca (01:04)
same.
Susie Showers (01:06)
Same, right, we're on the same page. So this is a morsel, right? We're going in, we're keeping it quick, we're getting to the point, so I'm gonna jump in with my first question for you. You've been thinking about the difference between performance being something to show others and expression as self -care. So my question is, how can we check our intentions and stay aligned to our integrity of expression, rather than falling into this external validation?
Becca (01:41)
Right. For me, it always starts with remembering what I want to feel and getting really embodied in that. So for me, the difference, for example, of the setting of my class is it's a really personal experience. It's in a place where there's no mirrors. There's no audience. So it doesn't matter how you look or how you move or what you do. You are just there not to be witness, but to feel a certain way. So if someone's external performance, maybe they could even start from there if it's unclear. Like if you want to be confident and sexy and look good, that might mean you want to feel good or have great self -esteem. So either one is kind of like reeling it back into what's underneath.
Susie Showers (02:38)
Yeah, as I'm listening to you, I'm thinking of as I've attended some of the classes and I've always felt very held in group space. So it's individual, but it's not isolated. I feel like we've all kind of we're on the same page. I don't know if that's intentional and like that's how you set it up.
Becca (02:52)
Yeah, it's definitely intentional. I didn't realize that the very personal setup would have such a profound kind of community energy to it. And it kind of surprised me because, for example, I do tons of activities and all the friends I have right now are people I met through my class. So like I did it for people and then I accidentally created this like whole beautiful network that was so nourishing and unexpected. And I think what it comes down to is when other people are kind of seeking the same thing, which is like a full knowledge of self, self -expression, being able to feel good in a world that's not exactly welcoming to queer, trans, and gender nonconforming folks, to be in this energy where everybody is loving and accepting of everyone around them and we're all in there for the exact same reason. we just want to feel really good and hot and be able to take up space and feel comfortable enough to move, period, let alone move in a really sexy way where nobody's gonna judge you. Like it's just so important to have that space because it's giving us support and permission to express all of that.
Susie Showers (04:31)
Wow, so exciting. It makes me want to move now, like when's the next class, you know? Okay, so you yourself identify as a neurodivergent person. I'm really curious how that identity might show up in an erotic dynamic.
Becca (04:45)
Right, so for me it's being very sensitive to various stimuli like sound and light and space. So the first thing I do is usually make sure that wherever the class or workshop is being held is a queer -owned space ideally or somewhere that's completely private and I make a point of locking the door before it starts because I really want to signal that like at least for 1.5 hours when the class is happening the cis hetero gaze does not exist and that kind of lets me immediately be like like especially as a femme that like I won't get the ick for a minute you know so there's that and it's signaling safety is really important and then after that, I take a lot of time to curate the music because I'm offering something to others. I need to really make sure that I'm full of that energy and I have it to give. So I build up music every day, but then up till the class, I'll keep curating it because I need the music to give me energy that I can spread so I can really show up with that kind of sensual flow and inspiration.
So the music is really key for setting the tone and especially the movement. So there's that. And then for me, the reason I created this is because I did a whole bunch of classes all around the city. And, you know, when there's a mirror, you have to kind of, if you're dyslexic like myself, you have to kind of be like right, left, this way, that way. And then I almost never pick up the choreography because my brain is just, doing 25 mirror flips the whole class. Yeah, and then actually there's someone named Fofo whose Instagram is Fofo, I think for real rasta gal, I'm not sure, but her class I did like a dance hall workshop and she teaches in a follow the leader style where a bulk of the class is just her at the front and you follow her.
Susie Showers (06:45)
Yes, yes.
Becca (07:08)
And because I love dancehall and it's something I've listened to since I was a kid, I was just like, I can do these moves and I can follow and I don't need choreography and everyone's having fun and it's not serious. And I was just like, this needs to be the way. Yeah, so, yeah, a big part of that is that I've been dancing since...
because I'm a November baby. I joined a ballet class for three -year -olds when I was two and a half. So I am literally a dancer, and I've been in competition level classes when I was younger, but I cannot keep up with a basic dance class. I just, I can't pick up the choreo and I can't follow along, and then I tap out and I get really frustrated and I cry and I leave. So I'm just trying to change that and also make it really welcoming to beginners because there's like a threshold of anxiety that people need to overcome in order to just go have fun. So I'm trying to eliminate as many barriers as I can to movement.
Susie Showers (08:22)
As you're listing all these different things, I'm thinking about, of course, the class, and this seems like it's an example of what folks who are maybe struggling with getting into an intimate or an erotic space with themselves or with others in their lives. So you've mentioned sensory considerations, lights and sound. You've also mentioned that you start listening to the music before the class, it seems like you're already in the scene or in the session, as it were, that your every decision that you make about this scheduled hour and a half, it gets you more into the zone. And you're talking about safety and I hear safety in all of those things that you're saying, in structure.
Becca (09:10)
Yeah, thank you for that. Because as you know, I get a lot of messages about people who are saying from people who are nervous and they voice their concerns. And what you just said was so affirming for me because I'm the same as all those people. And then I had to overcome who am I to do this? I'm usually in the back of a class, nervous and hiding and how am I going to stand at the front and lead something and feeling really embarrassed when my friends came and they're gonna perceive me in this other way who am I to do this thing? And then the whole other layer of like, who am I to literally post pictures of my ass and dancing sexy on the internet and just be like, yeah, that's fucking me as well. So like it took so much to just get it out there. Yeah, it took a lot. So yeah, it's really nice what you just reflected because it was a whole process to unearth.
Susie Showers (10:26)
Yeah, I know I'm maybe getting a bit off track, but I, what was I gonna say? It was about, yes, it was about neurodivergence being pathologized and that we're coming into this new era of affirming it. And, but it's so new, right? We're just at the sort of fringe of who am I?
And so, yeah, this is a space I make so that I can feel safe. Like, wow, what a great place to start is from your own experience. And then, amazing. People understand it and they are magnetized to what you're offering.
Becca (10:45)
Yeah, and what came up for me as you said that too is kind of like taking away from like being neurodivergent equals socially awkward or like unable to do stuff because the way people perceive me is not what's going on in here. I am extremely anxious and I almost never want to show up and teach the class and have imposter syndrome and I just freaking do it and people think that like I'm confident and like when people say stuff like, that I'm cool, it's like the most disgusting thing I've ever heard, cause I'm so not. Like, 90 % of my life I've been sweatpants, crying in my bed, overthinking the 10 disasters that could happen in any scenario, so like, that's not cool.
Susie Showers (11:51)
my god, I'm really trying to keep my composure so my hysterics don't go over what you're saying. Wow. This is disgusting. (*edit for transcript: this is sarcasm! The tone has been lost in the text and is intended as a reflection of how Becca is feeling and expressing themselves in the moment)
Becca (12:02)
Yeah, I hate it.
Susie Showers (12:04)
Well, I hear the vulnerability in that as well. So that kind of squishes into the next question. When you run your class, you invite grief and other difficult feelings into this central embodiment practice. I'm so curious what the intention is there.
Becca (12:08)
So because I do emotional freedom or tapping in the class, in order to get to the good feelings, we have to clear space for that. And we're always holding energy or anxiety or stress in our bodies, whether personal or external, global, what have you. So we really need to kind of settle that and make some space and at least have a container for that time to just put it aside and focus on a bit of self care. So yeah, it's definitely there because it's in our body and dancing kind of takes it out.
Susie Showers (13:11)
There's that little phrase of you name it to tame it.
Becca (13:15)
I like that.
Susie Showers (13:17)
that is a phrase, I did not make it up, but that when you call something in that's already there, but usually kind of hiding in the wings or in the shadows, it loses its grip. So if we say, yes, your grief is welcome here. Yes, your anxiety, your other things that feel like they're holding you back. Maybe they don't go away, but they might be like allowed to be a bit more playful.
Becca (13:50)
Mmm, yes. Yeah, and it also makes me think of "Yes-and." Because like these big horrible things are happening all the time and they're so heavy and we still have to show up and wake up and make ourselves breakfast and get out there and if we're privileged enough to participate in these self -care activities, my biggest goal is like, I'm really interested in resource sharing. So we have to fill up our own cups. We can't be of service or of change to the world if we're running on empty or too depressed to leave our house. And those are states I frequent, you know? So.
Susie Showers (14:37)
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yep, we need that pleasure practice.
Becca (14:42)
Yes.
Susie Showers (14:43)
A while back you talked really quickly about tapping and emotional freedom. Just for folks who aren't aware of it, can you give a little definition?
Becca (14:54)
Yeah, so my kind of quick definition of it is tapping is hitting on meridian points in the body and it's kind of like acupuncture without needles and these spots move energy so we tap in a sequence and then when you pair it with affirmations it's kind of like a somatic affirmation process and I'm really careful to make sure that the affirmations are not things that don't feel natural in my body. Like I don't do a power stance in the morning and go like I'm a beautiful warrior princess like that's no.
But if the tapping has the clearing and the acknowledgement or the naming where it's like, I feel like shit today and I still need to go to work and pay the bills and it's okay if I feel like shit because it'll pass and I'll be fine. And I am working on myself and feeling better. So these like little things that we can sort of get the body used to hearing and feeling over time, it's just kind of like a really beautiful way to work with crappy and good energies.
Susie Showers (16:08)
I'd say don't knock a power pose, but it might not be super goddess, hands on hips, but could a power pose be a tapping? Could a power pose be stimming? curling up and holding a pillow? Like what, who gets to say what power is?
Becca (16:32)
True, true, I really feel called to do a little crotch opener. That's my power pose.
Susie Showers (16:37)
yeah, it's very important to keep your hips juiced up. Little crotch opener.
Becca (16:42)
Yes.
Susie Showers (16:50)
anyone on video is very lucky to be watching the crotch opener portion of this podcast.
Becca (16:57)
Yes. Yes.
Susie Showers (17:00)
Get it! There it is. There it all is. Amazing. What a gift. Okay, so this isn't a question I really wanted to ask, so that's why I've saved it to last. How does humor work as a tool in your practice, in your trauma -informed practice?
Becca (17:22)
Humor is kind of disarming and it breaks like the surface level illusion. I want people not to take everything so seriously. Like for example, if I advertise the class and I'm in one of those like sexy power poses, I want to be more welcoming than like, to go to this class, I need to like know how to dance and have a great outfit and blah, blah, blah. It's just like getting rid of the surface-level illusions and you know laughter is pleasure so just opening up all the ways of having pleasure in the class so you know making cracking jokes with your peers and not being serious so that you're not stiff and then you can really get in the flow is a really big thing for me.
Susie Showers (18:18)
Is there anything that I didn't ask that I should have?
Becca (18:24)
I guess maybe why I started the class, like a lot of the reasons why I do it have come out, but I think that there needs to be erotic discovery spaces for people outside of play parties or nightlife. And those are also places that are really intimidating. And for example, I went to a play party a couple months ago where no one started playing and it was because people were kind of new and curious, but inexperienced. So there was like this barrier of like, I don't know how to use this equipment, who's going to get it started.
Susie Showers (19:05)
And just to clarify, a play party is a public or semi -public space to practice BDSM with partners and also to meet people who are in that lifestyle community.
Becca (19:20)
Yeah. Yeah, so there's just a kind of a barrier to reaching this self -expression or exploration. And this place is really just a place to feel good in your body and try out different gender expressions, it's feminine or masculine movement, and feeling comfortable to roll up however you want to dress and not having to wait for certain environments to feel safe putting on your fav slutty outfit.
Susie Showers (19:54)
I'm glad that I asked the last question. That's really beautiful. Thank you so much for talking with me. I feel sweatier than ever and I'm like really jazzed by this. I think I'm gonna go and move my body after this.
Becca (20:03)
Thank you so much.